Just when I thought I was done arranging suitable academic environments for my children, I must do it all over again. My daughters are 4 and 6, and have been happily ensconced in our neighborhood elementary school (which miraculously, happens to be one of the most highly ranked schools in our district), and a fabulous preschool five minutes away. It was painful getting them placed in both of the schools: it took me an entire summer to find the preschool for Shelby, my older daughter, which thankfully is the same school which Campbell now attends. Our neighborhood school is over-capacity so we had to camp overnight on the school grounds to simply get on the waiting list. (We rent, but believe me, the homeowners in our neighborhood were beyond livid at how little impact their tax-paying dollars were doing in terms of getting them into their very own public school!)
We were 13th on the list, but somehow or another, through some divine intervention or fateful cancellations from kids ahead of us whose parents opted for private school, we were awarded a spot the summer before her kindergarten year.
It's been smooth sailing the last couple of years, but since we just decided to move to Colorado, now I must restart the process all over again. (Don't worry, I will address the myriad issues involved with moving and uprooting your family in the next couple of blogs… we've done it before, and it doesn't get any easier).
Is it just me, or is finding an appropriate school for your child exceedingly complicated?
Or is it that I, and other parents of my generation, make the process exceedingly complicated with our ridiculously high expectations?
Or have the schools just gotten altogether crappier and/or more expensive?
In truth, I enjoy having a choice in my children's education, but in today's world, parents must decide between a dizzying array of options: private schools, public schools, charter schools, magnet schools, Montessori schools, whole-child schools, "back to basic" schools, language-immersion schools, half-day, full-day, traditional school year, year-round school year, and on and on and on.
Private schools sap whatever disposable income you may have socked away for vacations, college tuition, or that beautiful six-piece redwood outdoor furniture set. If you enroll your child in public schools, which barely have enough budget to pay for teachers’ salaries and basic supplies, count on setting aside part of your budget (and schedule) for costly outside activities public schools used to offer: music, art, dance, foreign language, and on and on and on.
I'm traveling later this week to Denver, to spend some time in the western suburb of Golden where we plan to live for the next year, visiting preschools and scoping out some of the neighborhood schools. I've spent probably 20 hours this week on the phone and online researching schools, talking to parents (which can be helpful but also confusing), talking to principals, the school district, talking to my mother (which can be helpful but also confusing), and on and on and on.
This has left me virtually no time to work, much less keep up with social media and my blog. I had lunch with my dear friend and former colleague Howard today, who scolded me for ignoring my blog for two weeks. Thus, since I can think of nothing else to write about, here I am -- blogging about the challenges of working parents and school-age children. Here is the first hurdle: finding a full-day preschool program that isn't an institutional daycare in disguise. You know what I'm talking about: apathetic instructors, sterile-looking classrooms, too much free time, etc.
A friend of mine has her child enrolled in a wonderful preschool near Golden. It's essentially a farm, where the children get to play and learn about animals and nature in addition to their regular preschool activities. It sounds perfect for my high-energy child -- except that it's only 2 1/2 hours per day, three days a week. After my commute, that gives me a whopping six hours of work coverage. My mother said: “Oh why don't you just enroll her anyway, and I'll take care of her the rest of the time." (My parents also live in Golden).
This is coming from a woman who doesn't have time to do her mandated physical therapy exercises for her shoulder, because she has scheduled herself so thin with other activities such as tennis and golf, volunteering, friends, errands, and on and on and on.
Thus, I must find a preschool with the following criteria: the hours that I need (somewhere between 24 and 30 hours a week), caring and passionate teachers, a healthy learning environment, a focus on not only academics but also arts, plenty of time for fun and free play, a pleasant outdoor area, clean and spacious classrooms, and within my budget. There is also that indescribable, highly subjective "feeling" that one gets with the right school.
Because school is like a second home for your child, most of us look for some sort of emotional connection to the teachers and the program. You have to be comfortable with the setup for your kid's personality, and you want to have some commonalities with the other parents: too many people significantly below your income level gets awkward, too many people significantly above your income level will create another level of anxiety (for me) that basically, I just can't deal with right now. That's just one commonality, of course, but I do believe that socioeconomic differences can create issues if there's not a balance.
I also strongly believe that my kids should be exposed to diversity -- diverse backgrounds, races and religions. In Colorado, it's just not going to be the same as here in the Bay Area where a visit to the grocery store is like a visit to Heathrow airport. I am reconciling myself with this reality -- and also with the reality that in the short time frame that I have to arrange schools for my kids, I'm not going to be entirely satisfied with the result.
But maybe that's a good thing. This whole school business sometimes gets out of hand. Everyone seems to want the perfect environment for their children—at whatever cost. Whatever happened to adaptability? I think there's something to be said about finding the best environment you can to match your kid’s temperament and abilities, but also, not overanalyzing every aspect of it nor expecting a school that will transform your child into the next governor, Nobel scientist, or CEO.
And then there's the question of your own sanity; is there a true ROI from paying private school tuition if a public school is nearly as, or just as, strong? Is it really worthwhile to drive 15 miles out of your way twice daily for your child to attend a particular coveted school? It might be for some people -- I'm not sure it is for me, though.
My husband and I will undoubtedly spend a lot of time selecting schools for our kids -- but whatever happens, I also know that the best we can do for them is to be supportive, interested, and involved parents. If they end up with a B versus an A school next year, I have a hard time seeing how this is going to harm them in the long run. We can always transfer them elsewhere if things don't work out. But you can bet I’m going to have a few more wrinkles by the time August 24th rolls around.
In truth, I enjoy having a choice in my children's education, but in today's world, parents must decide between a dizzying array of options: private schools, public schools, charter schools, magnet schools, Montessori schools, whole-child schools, "back to basic" schools, language-immersion schools, half-day, full-day, traditional school year, year-round school year, and on and on and on.
Private schools sap whatever disposable income you may have socked away for vacations, college tuition, or that beautiful six-piece redwood outdoor furniture set. If you enroll your child in public schools, which barely have enough budget to pay for teachers’ salaries and basic supplies, count on setting aside part of your budget (and schedule) for costly outside activities public schools used to offer: music, art, dance, foreign language, and on and on and on.
I'm traveling later this week to Denver, to spend some time in the western suburb of Golden where we plan to live for the next year, visiting preschools and scoping out some of the neighborhood schools. I've spent probably 20 hours this week on the phone and online researching schools, talking to parents (which can be helpful but also confusing), talking to principals, the school district, talking to my mother (which can be helpful but also confusing), and on and on and on.
This has left me virtually no time to work, much less keep up with social media and my blog. I had lunch with my dear friend and former colleague Howard today, who scolded me for ignoring my blog for two weeks. Thus, since I can think of nothing else to write about, here I am -- blogging about the challenges of working parents and school-age children. Here is the first hurdle: finding a full-day preschool program that isn't an institutional daycare in disguise. You know what I'm talking about: apathetic instructors, sterile-looking classrooms, too much free time, etc.
A friend of mine has her child enrolled in a wonderful preschool near Golden. It's essentially a farm, where the children get to play and learn about animals and nature in addition to their regular preschool activities. It sounds perfect for my high-energy child -- except that it's only 2 1/2 hours per day, three days a week. After my commute, that gives me a whopping six hours of work coverage. My mother said: “Oh why don't you just enroll her anyway, and I'll take care of her the rest of the time." (My parents also live in Golden).
This is coming from a woman who doesn't have time to do her mandated physical therapy exercises for her shoulder, because she has scheduled herself so thin with other activities such as tennis and golf, volunteering, friends, errands, and on and on and on.
Thus, I must find a preschool with the following criteria: the hours that I need (somewhere between 24 and 30 hours a week), caring and passionate teachers, a healthy learning environment, a focus on not only academics but also arts, plenty of time for fun and free play, a pleasant outdoor area, clean and spacious classrooms, and within my budget. There is also that indescribable, highly subjective "feeling" that one gets with the right school.
Because school is like a second home for your child, most of us look for some sort of emotional connection to the teachers and the program. You have to be comfortable with the setup for your kid's personality, and you want to have some commonalities with the other parents: too many people significantly below your income level gets awkward, too many people significantly above your income level will create another level of anxiety (for me) that basically, I just can't deal with right now. That's just one commonality, of course, but I do believe that socioeconomic differences can create issues if there's not a balance.
I also strongly believe that my kids should be exposed to diversity -- diverse backgrounds, races and religions. In Colorado, it's just not going to be the same as here in the Bay Area where a visit to the grocery store is like a visit to Heathrow airport. I am reconciling myself with this reality -- and also with the reality that in the short time frame that I have to arrange schools for my kids, I'm not going to be entirely satisfied with the result.
But maybe that's a good thing. This whole school business sometimes gets out of hand. Everyone seems to want the perfect environment for their children—at whatever cost. Whatever happened to adaptability? I think there's something to be said about finding the best environment you can to match your kid’s temperament and abilities, but also, not overanalyzing every aspect of it nor expecting a school that will transform your child into the next governor, Nobel scientist, or CEO.
And then there's the question of your own sanity; is there a true ROI from paying private school tuition if a public school is nearly as, or just as, strong? Is it really worthwhile to drive 15 miles out of your way twice daily for your child to attend a particular coveted school? It might be for some people -- I'm not sure it is for me, though.
My husband and I will undoubtedly spend a lot of time selecting schools for our kids -- but whatever happens, I also know that the best we can do for them is to be supportive, interested, and involved parents. If they end up with a B versus an A school next year, I have a hard time seeing how this is going to harm them in the long run. We can always transfer them elsewhere if things don't work out. But you can bet I’m going to have a few more wrinkles by the time August 24th rolls around.
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