tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16151251010494954572024-03-05T00:49:21.921-08:00Frazzled: Tips and Stories from Working Moms@HomePolly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.comBlogger48125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-52718746112179115332013-09-12T08:54:00.000-07:002013-09-12T09:20:58.929-07:00How to Manage Personal Finances and Not Ruin Your Marriage<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigEbOmseR5IzpK0GUHjXmLUMtSHPjzUxBMudPLSgH53JLuWqIclP7jdJaB7ABvE4pyo4SopaBBQVu_NeopsFQt8HlHje9tEUSg1c9l0aZAMb_M8-3fGS9vs3tKkM1HkFxeJ_XciLQP_25S/s1600/madcouple.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigEbOmseR5IzpK0GUHjXmLUMtSHPjzUxBMudPLSgH53JLuWqIclP7jdJaB7ABvE4pyo4SopaBBQVu_NeopsFQt8HlHje9tEUSg1c9l0aZAMb_M8-3fGS9vs3tKkM1HkFxeJ_XciLQP_25S/s1600/madcouple.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Money troubles are
one of the top causes of divorce. You have to work as a team with your
spouse or partner to manage the budget and plan for the future. This may cause bitter arguments, which results in couples not talking about anything – which can have
disastrous consequences. But money doesn't have to ruin a relationship with your spouse or partner...by working as a team, being honest and being flexible, I'd venture to say it can even bring you closer. But it takes commitment and a long-term view. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Finances have been a continual pressure point in our house and some years were downright miserable. It's taken years for my husband and I to come up with a workable plan, and it's always a work in progress. Yet our goals are the same: save, invest, retire before we are too old to travel and sock away money every month for simple pleasures like dinners out and movies with the kids.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Here are some Do’s and Don’ts to maintain a healthy
and profitable financial relationship with your spouse:</span><br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><b>DO</b></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Have joint family
bank accounts that both spouses can access and view at any time. This builds
trust and makes it easier to manage your money.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">DON’T</span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Hide purchases
through cash spending or your own secret credit card: hello, that's lying. If you must hide a purchase, you probably shouldn't be making it at all.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><b>DO</b></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Track everything
through your online account and minimize cash spending. This helps you know exactly
where the money is going, which is key to effective budget management and
planning.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><b>DON’T</b></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Nitpick about small
things like Starbucks latte’s and beers with the guys. Give each other a little
wiggle room.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><b>DO</b></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Manage your money as if it were a business..because it is! </span><span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Use some type of
accounting software such as Quicken or a personal finance site such as Mint.com to track
budgets, expenses, and assets. </span><span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Set regular, weekly
meetings with your spouse/partner to discuss your family's income, budget and spending patterns
historically <i>and</i> looking forward. The more you communicate, the less chance for
overspending and arguing.</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><b>DON’T</b></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Give up… If your
grocery budget is consistently high like many families today, keep getting creative.
There's always room for a new strategy – such as eating more vegetarian foods
or creating basic dinners that cost less but are still healthy or shopping
less at the organic grocer. Continually review large categories such as insurance and utilities: can you get a better deal by shopping around or calling your providers for a new quote? Probably.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><b>DO</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Set money aside for what's important but not "essential" to live: health club memberships, massage, outings with friends or enrichment classes. Prioritize these activities and then determine how your budget will accommodate. You may need to spend less on something else, like clothing. If there is nothing set aside for Fun, you'll both get discouraged and possibly engage in impulse spending to make yourself feel better.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><b>DON'T</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Take your kids to Target or Walmart if there's nothing in it for them...because believe me, they'll find something essential you must purchase for them, now. If they must tag along, set the ground rules before getting out of the car and stick to them once inside the store.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><b>DO</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Review all assets, investments and savings accounts at least once yearly to evaluate what's working and what's not. Do the same for your expenses. It's enlightening (and sometimes shocking) to understand what were the top categories for spending over 12 months, and this also helps set goals for the next year.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><b>DON'T</b></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Forget to pat yourself on the back for saving more or reducing costs in key areas. It's tough for families to save these days, given the high cost of living, job and career volatility, higher insurance and medical costs, requisite personal technology upgrades, tuition increases, and the pressures of parenting that seem to require more activities, tutoring and enrichment than ever before to prepare your kids for the real world. This is not your parent's world, so make sure not to set the bar unrealistically high for saving and budgeting.</span></div>
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Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-12591992536419857242013-02-08T09:24:00.000-08:002013-02-19T06:30:02.030-08:00The Big Bummer of a Mobile Society<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">My parents
met at the University of Wisconsin at Madison in 1953. After my dad graduated,
they moved to Boston where he attended MIT. Finally, after getting his
doctorate, they moved to Texas. They lived in Dallas until their oldest kid, my
brother, was 16. In 1977, they moved to the Denver area for my dad to take a
job with the Colorado School of Mines and they have been living there ever
since. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">Their third
and final cross-country move in a marriage of now 58 years was voluntary. They wanted to live in the Rockies and my dad
wanted to work in academia. After a few years of teaching, he founded a company
with a friend. That was his last major life change, and it was a wise move, since
later, the company was bought out by a much larger corporation in Houston. The
kind owners allowed my dad to work from Denver.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">Conversely,
many of us now in the workforce, whether we are 22 or 62, feel rather like
feathers in the wind. I completed my undergraduate studies at UCSB in Santa
Barbara and then moved home to Colorado to save money for a year. Next up: Washington
DC for my graduate degree. Following completion of this milestone, I moved back
to Colorado and worked in Denver for four years, at two different companies.
The magazine I was working for was purchased and therefore required me to move
to Minneapolis. After not quite two years in that city, I began dating my
future husband and quickly found a job in San Francisco to live near him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">As the
economy began to sputter in 2000, life became quite chaotic for us. Over the
course of the next nine years, due to job losses and job gains, we moved from
San Francisco to Boulder, back to the Bay Area, to Seattle and then again back to
the Bay Area. Finally, we moved voluntarily back to Colorado to bring our two
young daughters closer to our extended family. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">We've been
in the Denver area now for three and half years and I think we're here to stay, but who
knows? Meantime, all of these moves since the year I turned 18 have resulted in
friends scattered across the country and even the globe. My best friends do not
live in my current hometown. Like most people in my age bracket whom are working
with kids, I don't have the money to visit my besties on both coasts every
year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">The mobile
madness of our society means that having close, connected friendships living nearby is no
longer a given. We may have casual acquaintances from the kids’ school, the gym
or church, but these aren't the kind of friendships we had in college or when
we were first getting started on our careers. They aren't the ones you'll tell about your marriage or money troubles, your insecurities about the future or how your daughter is growing up too fast and it's killing you inside.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">Nine months
ago we moved to a new neighborhood. We know very few of her neighbors, as nice
as they seem from afar. Wrapped up in our busy lives, socializing is rare
beyond the requisite wave from the car. I keep thinking that I will organize a
neighborhood party of some sort, but it hasn't happened. Maybe I worry about
being burned again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">In our last
neighborhood, my husband and I tried valiantly to befriend our neighbors. We
organized cookie parties for the kids and held wine tastings. The neighbors were
perfectly pleasant and mostly friendly, yet real friendships never developed. I
suppose they weren’t interested or simply didn't have time to expand their
circles beyond the occasional Friday night beer at the mailbox. We felt isolated
and frustrated, missing the close-knit group of friends from our former life in California when the kids were tiny and playgroups were the tonic for raising toddlers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">I can't help
but think that our highly mobile society is a bad sign for the notion of community
and the prospects of long-term, nurturing friendships. As my good college friend
Michelle says: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">“It’s not
possible, as my grandparents did, to have all of your closest friends and
family swing by on a Sunday afternoon for pot roast, pasta and wine. It will
never happen. It’s really sad.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">So, we rely
on Skype, e-mail and texting to develop community. Somehow, it doesn't quite
compare to my memories of early childhood on Waldorf Drive in Dallas. Nearly
every single family living on that long street knew each other well. There were
frequent block parties and family dinners. Children ran free
between houses. Mothers knocked on each other’s back doors to exchange recipes
and talk about their kids. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">True,
technology helps us stay in touch with our far-flung friends and family like
never before. But I miss the irreplaceable face time with my closest
pals, which Facebook will never replicate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-91466737813846135082012-10-16T12:16:00.000-07:002012-10-16T12:18:13.321-07:00Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to Be Writers<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">The other
day, my seven-year-old said to me: "Mom, when I grow up I want to do nails
or write children’s books." My
guess is that she will pursue something different altogether, but it made me
think: do I really want my kids to follow my rocky path as a writer? About a
month ago, someone e-mailed me </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">for advic</span><span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">e on getting into
journalism. She was older, had pursued another career for years, and was ready
to make a switch. She was passionate. I did my best to support her with ideas
and realistic expectations. She thanked me profusely. Yet, prospects just
aren't fabulous out there even for experienced editors and writers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">When I
started out in journalism many years ago, it was truly the best of times. I was
in technology journalism at the very beginning of the public Internet, working for
magazines, and making good coin for decent hours. Those days are over. Since my
journalism career I've had corporate jobs and many freelance jobs. I'm now into
my seventh year as an independent consultant-- writing, editing, blogging, and
handling PR for a lot of different high-tech companies. I love my schedule,
because it gives me the flexibility to work around my kids. I get paid well for
what I do-- and I don't even work 40 hours.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">There's no
way I could earn what I do on strictly writing gigs or as a staff writer somewhere. At least half of my income
comes from PR. I never thought I would do it (evil PR!) but now that I've been schilling
stories for a while, I find it to be fun and rewarding. I still get to work
with ideas and write articles and other content. My job is fast-paced and quite
intellectual. I work with smart people and for the most part, I have fantastic clients. The journalists put up with me and some even like me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">If I were to
do it all over, though, I'm not sure I would've gone into journalism. It's been
a roller coaster over the years and even now, running my own business, I am always
wondering what my income will be next month and in the month after and so on. Let's
be clear: I do not have the benefit of a spouse with a lavish corporate job. We
both work for ourselves and sometimes it's just a damn strain. Yet still, I
consider myself very, very lucky.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">What career would I
have pursued otherwise? I haven't the slightest clue, to be honest. Like most writers, I
harbor a deep-seated desire to write <b>A
Novel</b><i>—</i>or at the very least, a
shallow, wildly successful thriller that's made into a blockbuster film.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">Can you do
what you love and the money will follow, as <a href="http://www.amazon.com/What-Love-Money-Will-Follow/dp/0440501601">these
guys</a> always say? Occasionally— but not typically. No one’s paying me to
play tennis, drink wine, read novels or play with my kids, inexplicably. Just as my parents
did with me, I will steer my children toward the best-paying,
intellectually-stimulating careers. Does that make me shallow? Not really. It
makes me practical. “Do what you love" is mostly for off-hours, sorry. "Do
what you can, do what you do well and try and make it fun," seems like a
reasonable mantra to me. What do you think?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-50478344244000107052012-08-29T11:35:00.002-07:002012-08-29T11:36:10.118-07:00Are You Real, Virtual or Robotic?<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Tahoma, sans-serif;">As someone
who writes for a living, I spend hours every week gathering information -- much
of it online but definitely by talking to real, breathing human beings.
Occasionally, I conduct e-mail interviews, such as when a source is traveling
internationally or has laryngitis, as was the case recently. It's tempting, and
sometimes quite painless to do all of my reporting and fact gathering through
e-mail and social media. Why not?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">Yet, this
can be a trap. I worry about who’s actually on the other end of that stream of
bits. Is it really the expert/executive or their assistant? Is it a bot? Have
they said the same spiel to 10 other people in the last month?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">I am a
closet introvert and love working happily at my desk for hours, switching
between different screens and message streams. It's fast, it's fun and better
yet, I don't have to stumble over my own dumb words with a stranger on the
line. I resist, however, and continue the old-fashioned but much safer method
of dialing the phone and speaking English, just like they taught me in J school
many years ago.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">My husband,
a work-at-home investment banker, is on the phone nearly the entire day. At
times the constant drone of his voice below me in the basement office makes me
batty. He hates social media and won’t
return my text messages unless they have to do with dinner. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">There's something to be said for his obsession with the phone. Live
conversations are real, in the moment and active. They have innuendos and
inflections of voice that indicate the real story. They promise an invigorating debate of raw,
unedited ideas that texting and e-mail cannot replicate.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">Can't we all
use a little more of the <i>real </i>communication?
I have one editor who always calls me before e-mailing. It's refreshing.
Sometimes he uses the phone to tell me something that could have taken two seconds
online. Yet, I like to hear his gentle Midwestern voice. I think sometimes, he
enjoys hearing mine as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">The human
voice is beautiful. Please, people, let’s not forget how to use it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-5097636918658455512012-05-24T09:27:00.000-07:002012-05-24T19:58:18.778-07:00Grow Up, Ye Small Business!<h2>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoCA_oZ9DcMPwUKpGASXnH8bmwN-VsWumEi2VlnNd9FSfrzlSEo7h6sMdmiknzmzbKRqF4YhSeN8qBCASbNrsoD1VlEjcMzb_Xx1NvhqJvTXHX80AqhpHddPOhBJ4bypSqR3vb66DG9Lbs/s1600/Baby_stock.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoCA_oZ9DcMPwUKpGASXnH8bmwN-VsWumEi2VlnNd9FSfrzlSEo7h6sMdmiknzmzbKRqF4YhSeN8qBCASbNrsoD1VlEjcMzb_Xx1NvhqJvTXHX80AqhpHddPOhBJ4bypSqR3vb66DG9Lbs/s200/Baby_stock.jpg" width="200" /></a></h2>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Social media, blah. Google Docs, blah. Cloud, blah blah. Mobile, blah blah BLAH!</b> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Do you ever wonder what it is that you actually need to grow your small business? Do you need a Facebook page? Maybe, but probably not. Do you have to belong to 100 circles on Google +? No. Must you hang out on Twitter for an hour every day? Definitely not. Should you buy all of your employees iPads? Quite possibly, yes. But first, let's get back to the basics.</span><br />
<b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></b><br />
<b style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What is the plan, Houston?</b><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">In the mad rush to acquire customers, put up the website, make the products or services better, a startup may forget the value of a few operating principles: such as, creating an operations plan.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b><i>Say what?</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Yes, this is the document that spells out your short and long-term strategy, core processes and systems: it's the guide for getting work done at your company. If you, as CEO and founder, die tomorrow, will people know how to renew your facilities contracts or what kind of insurance you have? What about information systems? Is there a special feature that only you know how to use? How about dealing with the Top 5 customers: what's the secret sauce to keeping them happy? How about hiring: what are the key personality traits your company needs from a candidate to succeed?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's time to write it all down, people. I covered this topic recently for Business on Main, where I'm a regular contributor. Check out <a href="http://businessonmain.msn.com/browseresources/articles/systemsandprocesses.aspx?cp-documentid=33723493#fbid=6fah3Eb0ury" target="_blank">the article.</a> I weave in the advice of two sharp operations and process consultants who know the pains of small businesses that don't pay attention to the fundamental activity of operations planning. Operations seems so, well, <i>boring </i>compared with updating your Pinterest page. Or, is it?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">“Operations is an exciting place to be and it's just
as critical as sales and R&D, “ says Jud Barr, CEO of JTB Sales and
Operations Consulting in San Francisco. "The market is moving too fast to
do business as usual. Companies need to continually probe and be prepared to
shift with the times.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span><br />
<br />Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-91139757616516088832012-02-07T12:52:00.000-08:002012-02-08T07:47:07.937-08:00Parenting: The American Way<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMbyPij62CnGgxfjCyjLcQQr2-HaQub5l1yL-cPACHux1ClxlsiiFdPw5rfocwurYk-klvQksK8V8MQ8DBLLxjcIDBufMszsAJ9UxuxXshL6Kbxs_1OguQp350ASJgcADryqeStC1lqCGr/s1600/1342516_flag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMbyPij62CnGgxfjCyjLcQQr2-HaQub5l1yL-cPACHux1ClxlsiiFdPw5rfocwurYk-klvQksK8V8MQ8DBLLxjcIDBufMszsAJ9UxuxXshL6Kbxs_1OguQp350ASJgcADryqeStC1lqCGr/s400/1342516_flag.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>I'm getting a little tired of reading how parents in (or from) other countries are superior to American parents. First, we had Tiger mom Amy Chua, the Yale professor who practically beat her children on the head with a stick if they didn't practice piano and violin for five hours straight every day. Now, we have Mademoiselle Mama, the American woman living in Paris who marvels at the angelic behavior of French children, in this recent <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970204740904577196931457473816.html?KEYWORDS=French+parenting">Wall Street Journal article</a>:<br />
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“Why was it, for example, that in the hundreds of hours I'd clocked at French playgrounds, I'd never seen a child (except my own) throw a temper tantrum? Why didn't my French friends ever need to rush off the phone because their kids were demanding something? Why hadn't their living rooms been taken over by teepees and toy kitchens, the way ours had?”<br />
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All right, I get the message about waiting. Americans, and especially their kids, don’t appear to value this skill as much as their European counterparts. Sorry, Parisians. Maybe this proclivity toward impatience is why we've had more success in business. However, whenever I hear a mom saying that her 18-month-old still wakes up for a bottle in the middle of the night, I cringe. That's just not good for anyone. Please, allow the baby to learn how to cry it out a little bit so that both of you can finally sleep through the night.<br />
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Later in the article, the author alludes to the fact that Americans spend way too much time playing with and attending to their kids: "For me, the evenings are for the parents," one Parisian mother told me. "My daughter can be with us if she wants, but it's adult time."<br />
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With all due respect, here is my rebuttal to this latest assault on American parenting:<br />
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<strong>1. Temper tantrums:</strong> what's wrong with these? Frankly, I'm glad my kids had tantrums, even in public places. Toddlers are wound-up balls of energy and if those emotions and erratic impulses don't come out now, they surely will later -- when they're teenagers driving your car and out of sight doing God-knows-what. There’s been plenty of research on the positive benefits of tantrums. I’d much rather my child learn how to express their emotions when they are little, rather than grow up to be a passive-aggressive adult with pent-up anger and self-destructive tendencies. <br />
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<strong>2. Children who interrupt.</strong> Yes, whenever I get the phone the kids invariably tug on my sleeve and ask any number of non-urgent questions. Do I get off the phone? No. I simply ask said child to wait until I'm done. And usually, they actually manage to do so, even if they aren’t quiet about it. It's just not normal for Americans to have conversations with no interruptions. I don't think it's normal for Italians nor Greeks either -- and I think that's okay. Can you imagine if it was unacceptable to interrupt people who cannot finish a thought? <br />
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<strong>3. Living rooms as forts.</strong> Kids should engage in free play. They do not understand that such activity is confined to their bedrooms. And really, do I care that they're building a play restaurant in the dining room? Or that every blanket in the house is on the couch, wrapped around various stuffed animals for the "animal hospital"? I love the creativity and it's worth the mess. My couch pillows aren't too nice to be used for "hot lava” obstacle courses on the kitchen floor. It is tiresome that the house is a disaster more than 50 percent of the time, but at least the kids are using their brain in a healthy fashion -- which is more than I can say about playing video games all afternoon.<br />
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<strong>4. Independent play.</strong> I'm a staunch believer that kids need to learn how to play independently. In the evenings, however, when my girls have been at school and in afterschool activities all day and I've been working, I'm ready to hang with them! If my six-year old asks me to play "Trouble" for the fifth night in a row, I'll do it. The older they get, the less time they're going to want to spend with me, so I’m taking it now. I'll get a lot more "adult time" when the girls are in high school.<br />
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Parenting is all about setting the right balance for you and your family. I disagree with the Tiger mom philosophy of relentlessly pushing your kids to excel and not allowing them to engage in trivial activities such as play dates, nor the French mother philosophy of pretending that children are mini-adults. We all have different cultures, economic backgrounds and societal challenges -- which means that there's no right way to parent. Most of us do the best we can. There are days when I know I've been an unpleasant, easy-to-anger mother. I try to move on and do better the next day. <br />
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Can Americans do better? Well, yes. Americans are often helicopter parents, for one. I'm not sure why -- perhaps from our in-bred colonial ambition but also because our public schools suck. If we don't stand up for our kids, who will? We Americans can be a loud, outspoken bunch, so naturally our kids may seem like out-of-control, spoiled brats to parents in other countries. But maybe, some of our kids are just, loud? Could we push our kids harder and make them more accountable? Well, yes. <br />
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A little of the French way and a bit of the Chinese way is fine, here and there. But I'm an American, and I'll be damned if I won't parent the American way-- whatever that is.Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-69180508302019599052012-01-27T09:40:00.000-08:002012-01-27T09:42:21.299-08:00Angry BirdsMy colleague, Kevin Wolf, just wrote some thoughts on his blog about high expectations from both journalists and clients. I think he has some excellent points <a href="http://blog.tgprllc.com/2012/01/angry-birds.html">here.</a> Highlights:<br />
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"Before sending a pitch, I read what I can about the journalist I’m targeting. I have about five minutes to spend on this because, in case you didn’t know, we’re targeting about 50 journalists per client at any given time.The pitches I develop are clear and concise. The journalists I target should be interested. <br />
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Often times I get an email response, but many times I don’t.<br />
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Reporters don’t like to be called, so when a reporter doesn’t respond to an email, I basically have no idea why the story I pitched isn’t a fit. Which means I have zero valuable feedback to share with my clients. Oh, and by the way, clients don’t want to hear our feeble excuses. They pay for coverage, not empty analysis, and many have very high expectations. As a PR rep I’m always trying to “manage” expectations, but usually it comes off as sandbagging. I explain that PR is a process, exactly like sales. It takes time to woo a reporter."Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-41020797789799291752012-01-18T10:25:00.000-08:002012-01-27T09:32:52.707-08:00Mending the Angry Rift between Journalists and PR<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpqvHaucPIOLFaeGYcWx8oa_mX8nPvrpiaE-e0OjFadMYB3UpEnHHyqjazf9OHbhSp4HTeZAoC-J9B6b5z4K_1fy7p-K3Cx6SzbdnvXPOFuPpA4cQy2cBVM_BDDfdW6hljO8pBCYDfESWE/s1600/1327383_shout_let_it_all_out.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; height: 184px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; width: 133px;"><img border="0" height="200" nfa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpqvHaucPIOLFaeGYcWx8oa_mX8nPvrpiaE-e0OjFadMYB3UpEnHHyqjazf9OHbhSp4HTeZAoC-J9B6b5z4K_1fy7p-K3Cx6SzbdnvXPOFuPpA4cQy2cBVM_BDDfdW6hljO8pBCYDfESWE/s200/1327383_shout_let_it_all_out.jpg" width="132" /></a></div>Journalists love to rant about PR people. I know -- because when I was a hard-core journalist I did the same. But usually, it was because I was too busy and I kept getting pitches that were totally irrelevant or simply lame and not well-articulated. This was back in the dot-com boom days when the hype factor was at an all-time high and there were way too many highly paid, inexperienced and untrained 23 year-olds doing PR. But lately, I've been reading a few rants of prominent technology journalists that have rubbed me the wrong way. Full disclosure: yes, I do media relations work in addition to my freelance writing work.<br />
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One young reporter mentioned in her rant that she wanted PR people to "entertain me!”<br />
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Another, more senior reporter, said that he would appreciate it if PR people would take some time to learn about his interests, such as his love of running, travel and cooking. If they couldn't be bothered with that, then maybe the publicity wasn't that important, he added.<br />
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<strong><em>Excuse me?</em></strong><br />
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Since when is it the job of the source to entertain and/or comment about the reporter's recent triathlon or vacation on the Cape? When I worked as a technology reporter, my expectations were fairly simple: send me a storyline which is fresh and relevant to my beat, and be clear in the e-mail. That's it. I didn't expect anything else. Why do reporters today expect the royal treatment? I don't know. I suppose they are especially overworked and underpaid today, with editorial staffs and budgets remaining dangerously slim. They want to be treated extra special, in order to reply to an e-mail. But sorry, I refuse to play that game.<br />
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<strong>Here's what I do think is imperative:</strong><br />
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<strong>1. Research reporters’ beats before pitching, because these days they do change frequently.</strong> Check out their latest links—and this doesn't mean you have to mention them in your e-mail, but understand where the guy/gal is coming from so you can align your pitch appropriately.<br />
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<strong>2. Don't assume that because a reporter covered something two months ago they still care</strong>. Mention the earlier story but share how your story is different and/or adds to the previous story.<br />
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<strong>3. Be polite and succinct in your communications and do a little extra work</strong> -- such as throwing in a few research statistics or quote from an industry expert that relate to the pitch. <br />
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<strong>4. Be careful about re-sending e-mails.</strong> Many reporters hate this although some don’t mind. If you're confident that the pitch relates and you know that the reporter was just at a conference or on vacation, go ahead and re-send it. But otherwise, tread lightly lest you become the "annoying PR person from hell."<br />
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<strong>5. Understand where the journos are coming from</strong>: Yes, you are being paid to get publicity but journalists are fiercely independent, enterprising and curious people. Deep down, they want to find the story on their own, not have it delivered to them from PR and marketing people. So instead of suggesting a specific story to write, suggest some angles and how your source can help.<br />
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<strong>5. Consider the value of objective, bylined articles from one of your company experts</strong>. Send a short paragraph abstract. Do not advertise your company's products, services or benefits. Stay neutral. Websites need content these days, and if you have something new to say that is non-promotional and if you have someone on staff who can write well, go for it. Quick advice: Editors often say that they hate "Top 5" list stories but frankly, they sell with readers because they make for a quick, entertaining scan.<br />
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<strong>6. Phone calls: many reporters won't pick up the phone but some do</strong>. If there's a need to call someone (and make sure there is a good reason), start your call pleasantly with "Hi this is Sam with Widgets, Inc. Do you have a minute or are you on a deadline?" If they say go ahead, then don't spend more than a minute. Quickly state what the company does and what's the news or reason for your call. If they reject your pitch, ask if you can stay in touch about (XYZ topics). This gives them an out to say no thank you, or provides a tip as to when you can reasonably contact them again.<br />
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There are many other useful media relations tips, but I believe that these above are the ones that matter most.<br />
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<strong>Now, a few words for journalists:</strong><br />
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<strong>1. I know that it's all about page views, but</strong> at least in the tech world, journalists frequently cover the same handful of big, name-brand companies. I don't need to list them -- but it seems to me that many small and midsize companies out there deserve a bit more attention. Journalists are surely pushed by editors to continue covering the same story lines, but I wish that writers today could be a bit more enterprising in their coverage.<br />
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<strong>2. Don't be a jerk just because you can</strong>. If you're going to pick up your phone, and give someone a minute or two, don't hang up on them or butt in every 2 seconds. Be decent and respectful. There are, in fact, many smart PR folks out there!<br />
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<strong>3. If you want to be entertained, cajoled, or pampered-- please, just go to a movie or book a spa appointment.</strong> There's really not that many funny marketing people in the world and like you, they’re too busy and budget-constrained to research every journalist’s personal interests and twitter posts.<br />
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<strong>4. Reply, occasionally.</strong> If you receive a pitch from a PR person that is smart, well-crafted and relates to your beat, but you don't have time to cover it, send a quick note back with "thanks but no thanks right now." I know you get a ton of e-mail, but sometimes it's worthwhile to write back. You never know what that person can bring you later.<br />
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<strong>5. Give feedback.</strong> Take a minute to tell a PR person exactly what you want or don't want, if he or she is someone that you'd like to continue to hear from down the road. That way, the next e-mail will be more targeted to your needs. You might say: I wouldn't cover your company nor its products outright, but I might cover one of their customers if they can demonstrate (XYZ characteristics/trends)<br />
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PR and journalism will always have an antagonistic relationship-- and that's good. But managing expectations on both sides of the fence can help us all be more productive.Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-42241859185191388022012-01-05T18:44:00.000-08:002012-01-05T18:44:33.049-08:00I'm Still HereI know I haven't blogged for a while, but I will, soon. #holidays, #sick, #overworked.<br />
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P.S. Did you know that Moms DO get sick sometimes? But unlike when our precious children blow their nose for the first time, we ignore it for two weeks before dragging our tail to the family doc at which point a simple virus has progressed into a full-blown bacterial infection requiring two expensive pharmaceuticals and ample rest time. As if.Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-1829528057178213522011-11-23T07:56:00.000-08:002011-11-23T07:56:32.900-08:00Control Queen: Part IIMy puppy died a few days after writing that last blog post. I have stopped feeling sorry for myself and asking why (a control queen characteristic) and starting to accept the outcome. He must've been needed somewhere else, for some purpose forever unknown to us. We loved him for a few very short and blissful weeks! God bless you Parker. Now you are a sweet puppy angel, with no suffering.Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-21954279048733224382011-11-10T10:16:00.000-08:002011-11-10T10:20:23.693-08:00The Control Queen<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFA_j-1qooSK6eKaCgExOrRhYE0QJwsbQWqmCcWEK7enEysS8k36_Yi-s-vD8b2QkVn7v2FYBeTFQH1dJhRxG74jHhXFW2Bu-yEqO8vfYmtwwiLMYKAudyyUp-ae_o6YYqoQmh3NfyS88N/s1600/Parker+and+Bo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" nda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFA_j-1qooSK6eKaCgExOrRhYE0QJwsbQWqmCcWEK7enEysS8k36_Yi-s-vD8b2QkVn7v2FYBeTFQH1dJhRxG74jHhXFW2Bu-yEqO8vfYmtwwiLMYKAudyyUp-ae_o6YYqoQmh3NfyS88N/s200/Parker+and+Bo.JPG" width="149" /></a></div>It is time to admit that I have inherited certain traits that are not entirely pleasant. Shocka! I loathe uncertainty, and suffer from a tooth-grinding need to understand that things are headed in the right direction, at all times. Never mind that this is a rather unrealistic approach to life, which rarely works out in favor of the controlling personality—it's how my brain is wired. <br />
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On the other hand, an individual with controlling characteristics can be highly organized, productive, and handle many responsibilities at once. They can also be annoying to themselves and others and create unneeded stress by sweating both the small AND the big stuff.<br />
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We adopted a yellow lab rescue pup a few weeks ago, and despite being the cutest furball on the planet, he has come with a very high price tag. He's been in and out of the animal hospital with serious infections from the first day he entered our home, and was unfortunately diagnosed with distemper. This nasty virus apparently kills half of dogs that contract it -- and we are in the gray area for a few more weeks.<br />
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Sweet little Parker has finally overcome his pneumonia and respiratory infections, but lately has developed a twitch, accompanied with heartbreaking whimpering. Is this the beginning of the end? I cannot know. We are doing everything we can for this dog -- lots of love, an aggressive treatment regime, high-quality food, a comfortable bed, fresh air and the best of veterinarian care. The vet bills are now taking place of a possible beach vacation for us next year, but I don't care if he can just survive. I worry incessantly. The Ambien is out of the medicine cabinet again. Will he make it? Is he in pain or just annoyed when he whines? These are the worst kind of unknowns. I'm going to have to just let it go -- even though letting go is definitely not my thing. I come from a long line of hard-charging matriarchs who don’t accept no for an answer!<br />
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Our need to control must relate to the fundamental fear of something bad happening. It's not as if nothing bad has ever happened to me, right? I'm still here. If I can tone down my control queen tendencies, I’m sure I can deal better with any outcome and the journey, too. What do I need, people-- more yoga and green tea, or a psycho-therapist?Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-58711489132894490742011-10-05T07:48:00.000-07:002011-10-05T07:48:34.799-07:00Social Media: a Waste of Your Company’s Time?By Polly Traylor<br />
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There's a wealth of content on the Web about how to maximize your social media presence and gain the most from this exciting new media. But wait: should your business spend much time on social media in the first place? For small companies, the ROI can be tricky. You probably have a small marketing staff, and it's unlikely you can dedicate even one person to a social media program. Despite popular messaging from social media pros on the ease-of-use and affordability of social media, it's actually a time-consuming and increasingly complex marketing vehicle. If you want results, you'll need to spend time on quality content, regular updates, community interaction and integration of your social media pages with SEO and overall marketing strategies. You've also got to keep pace with new features and privacy issues of top social media channels. Can you justify the time?<br />
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<strong>The first determination is whether your customers are hanging out on social media -- and on which sites.</strong> Do your targets regularly use social media for researching products and services in your space? If you're not sure, you'd better find out. <br />
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<strong>Secondly, you need a distinct plan and a strategy.</strong> Most marketing experts don't advise ad-hoc social media posting. How will social media fit into your overall marketing program? <br />
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<strong>Thirdly, you have to measure social media marketing efforts regularly</strong>. This is usually not expensive -- but it does take time and diligence.<br />
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Recently, I wrote an article for Business on Main, a Sprint-sponsored community for small businesses on the MSN network: <a href="http://businessonmain.msn.com/browseresources/articles/socialmedia.aspx?cp-documentid=30585580#fbid=GDgfkj99-ud.">"Are You Wasting Your Time on Facebook and Twitter?”.</a> The story was an attempt to shatter a few myths about social media marketing. Here’s an excerpt:<br />
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"The cost issues are critical for a small business," says Paul Verna, senior analyst with eMarketer. Larger companies can afford to hire an agency or even a team of people to handle the time-consuming chores of creating content, making regular updates and monitoring corporate social media pages. A small company may only have a part-time resource. “Even having one person dedicated to your social media profile better have an intense payoff at the other end," Verna warns.<br />
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It's no wonder that a recent Hiscox survey of more than 300 participants found that just 12 percent of small companies described social media as a "must" for their marketing and promotional strategies, and nearly 50 percent of respondents aren’t using social media at all.<br />
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"Most people go on Facebook to connect with people like family and friends or to play games, and they really don't care about your ball-bearing company," observes Mark Schaefer, a blogger and consultant in social media marketing. "At the end of the day, you have to go to where your customers are.”<br />
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While social media can be a useful investment for many small businesses, Facebook and Twitter aren't always the top choices. Twitter is an excellent vehicle for science and technology companies and communities. Facebook can be fantastic for consumer goods and services. But don't forget: there's also LinkedIn, YouTube, Yahoo and AOL communities, your company's blog, industry discussion forums and local social media sites. As Facebook and Twitter grow larger, their steady flow of new features may be overkill for small businesses. <a href="http://businessonmain.msn.com/browseresources/articles/socialmedia.aspx?cp-documentid=30585580#fbid=GDgfkj99-ud.">This article</a> on Social Media Today does a nice job of outlining the issues with Facebook, and offers some helpful alternatives.<br />
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Before jumping into social media, understand your choices, customer preferences, and if social media is likely to meet company goals. If it still seems worthwhile and you know which sites will resonate with customers, start small. Once you start posting regularly and develop a community of followers, you have set an expectation for activity.Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-311238442286866842011-09-16T10:26:00.000-07:002011-09-16T11:11:30.251-07:00Getting Outside of the BoxHow many times in your career has someone asked you to step away from your desk and… "Think Outside of the Box!" I've always hated that phrase. Who says I'm in a box, anyway? I like to call my life a cruise ship -- although it's not always as much fun. There's a full agenda on my ship most days: meetings, appointments, errands, social gatherings, work deadlines, after-school activities, homework, housework, volunteer work, and yes -- even exercise. It seems to never end. Yet at the same time, sometimes I think my thought patterns are in a rut. It's easy to find yourself feeling as if you’ll be doing the same damn thing for the rest of your life. <br />
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That "same damn thing" might be raising your kids, helping elderly parents, or maintaining a career track that you've been on forever and which would be way too difficult (expensive, time-consuming, stressful) to change now. Take heart: life does change, and usually when we least expect it. <br />
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But you have to rock the boat a little bit, once in a while. This fall, I started coaching an after-school girls running program called <a href="http://girlsontherunrockies.org/">Girls on the Run</a>. The program (a national non-profit) targets third to fifth-grade girls, who might find themselves stuck in the "girl box."<br />
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The girl box is a nebulous concept but it contains anything yucky: kids are saying mean things to me on the playground; I don't have the cutest, latest clothes; my teacher gave me a dirty look; my best friend is playing with someone else this week; I am the worst kid at soccer during P.E., and a million other reasons why, sometimes, it's hard to be a girl.<br />
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Talking to these young girls about their "girl box” issues makes me think about my own box: I’ll never have time to write a book, I will never be a good cook, I am too hard on my daughters, I am not positive enough, I am a nagging wife… the list goes on.<br />
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I'm beginning to think that this community service coaching gig is going to help me more than the girls. They’re funny, they smile a lot, and with a little encouragement, they'll try just about anything.<br />
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If that's getting outside of the box, I think I can handle it.Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-38957747459524454472011-08-26T08:25:00.000-07:002011-08-26T08:29:24.661-07:00Crowdsourcing: Outsourcing on SteroidsRecently, I wrote about crowdsourcing for one of my clients, a small business-focused site called <a href="http://businessonmain.msn.com/default.aspx#fbid=GDgfkj99-ud">Business on Main</a>, on the MSN network. It’s fun for me to write about how the Internet continues to change everything including business models and how work gets done. Crowdsourcing isn't for every business, but it does seem to apply to many diverse business tasks. <br />
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<div>I answered a question on the site about how crowdsourcing can help a small business, which I'm reprinting below. I'd love to learn more about how small businesses, even consultants like me, are using crowdsourcing: </div><br />
<ul><li>Is crowdsourcing appropriate for activities such as PR, marketing communications, and even, journalism? What cool examples have you seen? </li>
<li>Is the crowdsourcing "member" (a.k.a. worker) getting screwed financially from these arrangements? </li>
</ul>It seems hard to believe that some of these contractors aren't losing money -- but others, if they are smart, might be getting more volume in exchange for a lower project fee, and coming out on top.<br />
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<div> <strong><em>If only I could use crowdsourcing to get my house in order and laundry done every day.</em></strong></div><br />
<div> Anyhow, here is <a href="http://businessonmain.msn.com/questions/default.aspx?cp-documentid=30138567&mtag=smtwitter&source=smtwitter#fbid=GDgfkj99-ud?comments">how I responded</a> to the Business on Main question. What do you think?</div><br />
<div> [<strong>Reprinted from MSN Business on Main]</strong></div><br />
<div>Sites such as <a href="http://www.crowdflower.com/">CrowdFlower</a>, <a href="http://www.crowdspring.com/">crowdSPRING</a>, <a href="http://www.trada.com/">Trada</a> and <a href="http://www.utest.com/">uTest </a>enable a business to complete projects using the collective intelligence of a knowledgeable and skilled community. Instead of spending hours finding the right contractor to do a job, such as designing your website or translating copy into Japanese, post your project on a crowdsourcing site and then review the bids from people who have been pre-qualified.</div><br />
<div>Crowdsourcing can save you time looking for skilled workers, and may be more affordable, too. “It is usually cheaper, up to 30 percent less than offshoring,” says Matt Johnston, vice president of marketing and community at uTest, a site for software testing.</div><br />
Companies often find they get as good or better quality results with crowdsourcing. Depending on your needs, you may have a virtual team of people working for you on one or many projects. "Crowdsourcing allows you to tap into the creativity and diversity of an entire community," Johnston says.<br />
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<div>Sarah Harris, marketing manager for Norman’s Rare Guitars, says she had mediocre results with freelancers before using crowdsourcing. She used crowdSPRING to source a logo design and Web design project, and was delighted with the result and the service. “I had a lot of revisions for the designers and they were all receptive and completed everything so quickly,” she says.</div><br />
<div>As crowdsourcing has evolved, there seems to be an unlimited number of ways a business can use it. Beyond Web design, marketing and software development, companies are using crowdsourcing to make videos, do fundraising, conduct market research, transcribe audio files, take customer orders and provide customer support, and even to solicit ideas for new products and services.</div><br />
<div>Crowdsourcing is a novel and efficient way to hire experts for short- or long-term projects. Give it a try, but don't shortchange the processes you use for hiring contractors on your own. Provide ample guidance up front about your business and goals when requesting bids for a project, says Niel Robertson, CEO of Trada, a site for paid search advertising experts. “If you frame the problem better, you can get much better results," he says.</div><br />
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<div></div>Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-71570815952411780742011-07-18T20:35:00.000-07:002011-07-20T09:34:38.853-07:00The Home Office: Haven or Hell?<em>You happily left the serenity of your air conditioned office to work from home, so you could have more quality time with the kids. Now instead of the boss, the little monsters are yanking your chain. Did you make a big, sticky mistake?</em><br />
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Today, my friend <a href="http://middleagecranky.wordpress.com/">Howard</a> shared with me a <a href="http://www.mercurynews.com/bay-area-living/ci_18484968?source=email">San Jose Mercury News story</a> about the challenges of stay-at-home working parents. I don't know why he thinks I would care -- after all, it's not like I work at home and have two loud youngsters or anything. Oh, wait. It was <em>the dream</em> I had two nights ago about working in a quiet office wearing grown-up clothes that was untrue.<br />
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On most days, I wouldn't give up my situation for anything. Instead of spending two hours a day dressing, primping and driving to and from an office, I maximize time with my kids. I get to go to their swim meets and baseball practices and help them with homework after school. I save money on gas and nice outfits. I am my own boss and for the most part, set my own schedule. I almost never have to attend a useless meeting instead of working out.<br />
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Even so, summertime has reminded me how distracting and unproductive working at home with kids can be at times -- even, or perhaps because of, hiring babysitters. Here's an interesting quote from the Mercury News article: “A recent study by TheBump.com and Forbes Woman showed that, while 92 percent of working moms are stressed out, 89 percent of stay-at-home moms feel the same way. Parents say much of the stress comes from trying to give both work and kids enough time, especially when children are used to getting attention when mom is around.”<br />
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Kids find you like a heat-seeking missile when you least expect nor want them. They are genetically wired to interrupt you during an important business call or deadline with a screaming crisis concerning misplaced items or a dessert emergency. The worst arguments between siblings always seem to happen when you're swamped. Babysitters are by and large inept at keeping children occupied with acceptable activities and out of parents’ offices, unless they are over the age of 25, and with significant life experience. Good luck there! Grandmothers are often not much better. The smart, creative, nurturing, patient and highly responsible babysitters are usually former teachers and you can't afford their (deserved, granted) astronomical hourly rates. To be blunt: sometimes it's a real pain in the ass to work from home.<br />
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Sadly, I have no advice to share about this, after five years of doing it. But if you're a parent and thinking about giving up the office job for the blessed home-office gig, think twice. Do you have the balls to maintain discipline, clarity of purpose, and when needed, install and use the lock on your office door? Can you discover a coping method for the madness of working when the kids are home, other than twisting opening a bottle of Jack? <br />
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If so, enjoy the ride. It's fun, rewarding, and challenging to work from home -- but it's rarely smooth.Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-16947429703941070452011-06-27T14:27:00.000-07:002011-06-28T05:19:15.565-07:00Getting Organized…Or NotThis afternoon I was planting some bright orange cosmos in my garden, freshly purchased from the nursery. My daughters and our babysitter were quietly coloring with sidewalk chalk, when suddenly my eight-year old daughter looked up and asked: "Mom, why are you gardening when Ila is here instead of working?" I told her that I was waiting for some clients to answer e-mails, and I couldn't move forward on work until they did. Always the responsible one, she prodded: "Well, maybe you'd better go check your e-mail again now?"<br />
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When work slows down for a few days or a week, it's hard to know what to do with the spare time. I could have exercised, but I did plenty of that already over the weekend. I could have folded the pile of laundry that's been sitting on my couch since last night. I could have even cleaned my desk and filed away the stacks of business documents and the kids’ artwork that have been gathering dust for a month. I could have done a lot of things to make my life more tidy. Instead, I high-tailed over to the nursery for the cosmos, two packs of begonias, a large bag of cedar mulch and some helpful advice on my wilting columbine flowers. <br />
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When it comes to client work, I am Little Miss Organized. I keep meticulous notes about projects and contacts. I color-code my e-mail messages according to whether they are personal, related to kids, urgent, or for networking purposes. Long-term clients get their own special e-mail folder. I do not miss deadlines.<br />
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When duty isn't calling, however, I'd rather have fun. My college roomies can attest to my apathy for household activities. Warning notes were constantly posted on my bedroom door about what I didn't clean that week. Once, I found dirty dishes on my bookshelf. It's likely that I was at the beach or going on a nice long run instead of loading the dishwasher. (Who can blame me, really, considering that I attended the University of California, Santa Barbara)<br />
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I've come to believe that people who have a spic and span desk are also the same people who vacuum the insides of their cars every week. This is not me. I envy them--- but I will never, ever be like them. And that's just gonna have to be good enough for me. My dog Bo (pictured here) is fine with my choices. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkhj5qCVuRkWbkpj2gund5DfGp9Bs0wAnj7W3eEceDuqH15k8-4mj3tlZTuh-rlyovNL0iB2fXxOTZ6VRmQZ8JItVpNn4EDOD5y6fl95b67_EFdDSqSktKUeeuThjMYtHtDkK_3FQgJnlE/s1600/Me+and+Bo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" i$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkhj5qCVuRkWbkpj2gund5DfGp9Bs0wAnj7W3eEceDuqH15k8-4mj3tlZTuh-rlyovNL0iB2fXxOTZ6VRmQZ8JItVpNn4EDOD5y6fl95b67_EFdDSqSktKUeeuThjMYtHtDkK_3FQgJnlE/s320/Me+and+Bo.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>He never misses his daily walk.Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-89104576421446279322011-05-12T07:06:00.000-07:002011-05-13T13:42:50.205-07:00A New Philosophy on Diet And Exercise: Don't?I haven't exercised all week, unless you can count 10 minutes in the "home gym" screwing around with my 6-year old last night. I have been beating myself up for the last few months for my steadily declining regular exercise regime and a perceptible increase in alcohol units. This doc below (name unknown) is putting my heart at ease. God love him!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjytvAP8AiqB9RITv6LXqbihdJsFm04IawDqaDrsLIgu8nNhu93goFwcMrV6hEKyBlOIeUrSkt2KPQDr8K6uUuJ4wtGrQ5909xqCOg4KYjtmPSEwDskgaBtkUR7N-oVDVjQuUFEINH_4_Qg/s1600/Dr.+No+Exercise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" j8="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjytvAP8AiqB9RITv6LXqbihdJsFm04IawDqaDrsLIgu8nNhu93goFwcMrV6hEKyBlOIeUrSkt2KPQDr8K6uUuJ4wtGrQ5909xqCOg4KYjtmPSEwDskgaBtkUR7N-oVDVjQuUFEINH_4_Qg/s1600/Dr.+No+Exercise.jpg" /></a></div><strong>Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? </strong><br />
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A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap. <br />
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<strong>Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? </strong><br />
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A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!<br />
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<strong>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? </strong><br />
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A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.<br />
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<strong>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? </strong><br />
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A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good! <br />
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<strong>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? </strong><br />
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A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!? <br />
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<strong>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? </strong><br />
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A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. <br />
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<strong>Q: Is chocolate bad for me? </strong><br />
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A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!<br />
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<strong>Q: Is swimming good for your figure? </strong><br />
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A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..<br />
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<strong>Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? </strong><br />
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A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! <br />
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Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.<br />
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And remember: <br />
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Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!" <br />
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<strong></strong>Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-48743034455893190342011-04-28T08:24:00.000-07:002011-05-10T07:50:44.507-07:00Consultants and Writers: Be Transparent, Avoid Conflict of InterestAs a freelance writer who also has PR and marketing clients, I have to be transparent in my work. I do not cover companies that I represent, for instance. I do not contact interview subjects for marketing work. However, if they contact me: great. And I will never interview them again. A good friend and former colleague of mine once said: "Keep everything in the sunshine." That's a good rule of thumb, to avoid potential conflict of interest.<br />
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Today, whether you are a consumer of online information, a creator of online information, or both, there are risks. Can you trust the source that you are reading for objectivity? (Blogs with generic names are often co-sponsored or owned by companies. Look for the fine print.)<br />
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Random bloggers with "news" sites are often just rewriting press releases. Read carefully.<br />
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Freelance journalists are not always what they seem.<br />
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Anyway, I do believe it's possible to write objective articles and also do PR and marketing work, as long as those two activities remain separate. I've been doing this for several years now. Check out <a href="http://bit.ly/koFVLt">the blog</a> that delves deeper on this which I wrote for TGPR, a virtual PR agency in Menlo Park, California, whom I have been working for since 2009. <br />
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I'd love to get your thoughts about how lines are blurring and how this affects your work.Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-3448591537605639162011-03-11T14:14:00.000-08:002011-03-11T14:14:01.275-08:00Wasting Away in MessagevilleI spend anywhere from 30 to 40 hours per week working at my computer. A few years ago, life was comparatively simple. Open up inbox, send e-mail, receive e-mail, file e-mail, complete tasks. Send text messages, but only to friends. But now, I feel like an old boat without a sail, hopelessly adrift.<br />
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A few of my clients have set me up on their corporate Google e-mail. Sometimes I receive an e-mail to the Google account, and sometimes to my Comcast address. I am never quite sure how to respond, or which account to check first. (Yes, I did ask said clients for preference, but the advice never came)<br />
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Other clients have set up project sites to share information and tasks. But again, it's hard to know, when to use that site versus simply, <em><strong>e-mail.</strong></em><br />
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And then there's Twitter and Facebook. Should I DM her or retweet? Send him a Facebook message or write on his wall? I have many contacts in LinkedIn who are not close acquaintances. Should I e-mail them through LinkedIn, or send them a note to their work email? Maybe I should just pick up the damn phone.<br />
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Call me a Web 2.0 Luddite, but how many hours a week am I wasting trying to figure out which contact method to use? Those brain cells could be used more efficiently, such as, to write something magical for a client.<br />
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How do you deal with the "communications" challenge? Please, don’t tell me I need another tool.<br />
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You can reach me on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google, and Skype. And oh, <a href="mailto:pstraylor1@comcast.net">email.</a>Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-28253038007950109092011-02-13T10:07:00.000-08:002011-02-13T10:14:53.074-08:00On Wishes, Dreams and Pet ProjectsWhen we graduated college, we all had grandiose dreams. Then life got in the way. We got ambitious, and decided to climb the ladder. Maybe we moved around for different jobs. We made new friends, traveled and experienced all kinds of adventures. Pretty soon, some of us found a life partner. We got married, took an overpriced honeymoon, got domestic, perhaps got a little crazy because we knew kids might be coming. And pretty soon the kids came. The babies took over our lives and our emotional state of being. The days consisted of laundry, feedings, doctor appointments, blockading toddlers from every possible danger in the house, preparing healthy organic meals for growing bodies, baby gym, baby swim classes, baby art, teething, exhaustion. Then the kids got older and started school, giving you 6.5 hours of uninterrupted work time. That's liberating for a while....but then one day you stop in the middle of writing an email and remember the dusty old dream. You post a note on your office wall with the dream in bright letters...and it sits there for a few months. You begin to hate the note.<br />
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Then one night you set your alarm for 5 a.m., and the next morning you get up after hitting the snooze button five times and start working on your dream. Some days you don't get up, or your work takes over, but the next day you get up and go at it again.<br />
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It doesn't matter matter what your dream is: maybe it's getting in shape or learning how to make the perfect crème brûlée or going to church again. Maybe it's writing a book or novella, which is mine. A dream may change over time, but the point is: pick one no matter how small or big and work on it until it's done or until you've realized it wasn't the dream your really wanted after all. If that's the case, change your dream into another pursuit. I have no idea where my dream journey will lead me or if I will abandon it eventually. I'm afraid about giving up in boredom and disillusionment, or not having the time or energy to keep chasing after it. I am deeply afraid of failure. <br />
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Our lives are filled to the brim with work, family, parenting and trying to stay healthy so we can meet our grandkids someday. It often feels like there's no room for anything else. But if you can, make time for that something else. It might lead you somewhere completely unexpected.<br />
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Happy dreaming! What's yours?Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-7505353314418312252011-01-07T16:31:00.000-08:002011-01-07T16:31:37.432-08:00How to Keep the Good ClientsIt wasn’t long ago when I was happy to keep any clients that came my way. Now, I have the luxury of focusing on the good ones -- the ones with smart and supportive people, challenging and consistent work, competitive rates, and of course, who pay on time.<br />
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I haven't always been the most diplomatic person. Sometimes, I have to fight my tendency to speak my mind. Working with clients of all temperaments has helped me to be more adaptable, flexible and might I say, a people-pleaser. Because at the end of the day: the customer is always right. Well, almost always right.<br />
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Here are a few ideas I have for keeping favorite clients happy. What are yours?<br />
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<strong>1. Respond quickly</strong>. My top job as a service provider is to be an excellent communicator. When a request comes in, even if I can’t tackle it that day, I reply as soon as I can so they know I’m on it. If I don't understand what they're asking of me, I clear that up right away and also make sure I understand their deadline. If I can’t meet it, I’ll always ask if there’s any leeway before flat-out saying no. Very rarely have I had to refuse a client request based on the deadline. <br />
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<strong>2. Be a perfectionist--or try.</strong> My second top job is pretty simple. I treat every job the same -- matter what I'm getting paid. If I agree to write an article, I'm going to make sure it's the best content I can possibly deliver in the timeframe and with the materials provided. I try hard to understand their goals and audience, and make extra effort to minimize work on the client’s end. I'm human. I can't catch everything, but I feel I owe it to the client to proof my own work a few times before the client sees it.<br />
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<strong>3. Be humble</strong>. The client is the expert in their field, not me. I try to get as much information from them about their industry and needs as I can, and I don’t pretend to know something that I don't. If I know I'm right, but the client thinks I'm wrong – I bite my tongue. After all, they're paying for the work and they make the rules. If I make a mistake, I admit it, and then we can all move on.<br />
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<strong>4. Don’t nickel and dime</strong>. It's okay and probably a good thing to occasionally do something for free. If the client has 30 minutes of extra work at the end of a project and I have already sent in the invoice, no problem. If the client wants to do a third or fourth revision, I do it. Once in a while, I have to set a boundary. But for a good client, it does pay later to go the extra mile today.<br />
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<strong>5. Have fun.</strong> If you have a sense of humor and it's clear that you enjoy your work, it rubs off in a positive way on your clients. Don't take yourself too seriously: try to get to know your clients a little bit. If you're a pleasant and interesting person to work with, and you deliver excellent work to boot, they're going to keep you around.<br />
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One of the toughest parts about being a consultant/freelancer is managing expectations. When you have multiple clients, sometimes they all want something from you at once. That can be stressful. Or, they may ask for something that's just unreasonable during the timeframe of a project. Those are the times when you have to get diplomatic and make sure you're not setting yourself up for failure. You may have to negotiate a little, but still ensure that the client knows you have a “can-do” attitude. It's a tricky balance, but nurturing client relationships is just part of the job.Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-3548700625333845832010-12-29T11:57:00.000-08:002010-12-29T11:57:05.984-08:00Santa gave me an iPadAnd I didn't even ask for one. How about that? It's genius simplicity. Nothing more to say. I know 2011 will be even more productive...and fun. Happy New Year!Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-35090058887987943272010-12-03T09:56:00.000-08:002010-12-03T09:58:07.606-08:00It's official: I'm a cheapskate but I want an iPad.I don't usually succumb to the latest gadget trends. I bought the second generation iPhone, which I still own. I keep my computers as long as they keep running. We were probably the last person in our town to buy a flatscreen TV. Never got an iPod. Not that I don't like new technology -- but I guess I like spending my scant extra cash on vacations. Anyhow, back to the topic of my obsession: I am out and about so much in the afternoons shuttling my kids around while also trying to keep up with work that I can hugely see the potential of having one of these overpriced large-format iPhone's. I think that could happen next year. I can't even begin to think how my kids are going to freak out when they see it on the kitchen counter. Watching movies at Grandma's house while Grandpa watches football? Killer. A little online shopping while the kids are in gymnastics? Nice. Emailing and reading in bed at the same time? Aaahhh.<br />
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Technology: sometimes it' a true pain in the butt (if you read my earlier posts about home laptop maintenance) yet I have an instinctual feeling that the iPad is only going to bring me joy. Unadulterated, intellectual, free-spirited joy.<br />
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Happy Holidays friends!Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-91861168267580183892010-11-16T13:42:00.000-08:002010-11-16T13:42:34.463-08:00Giving thanksUntil I have something more thought-provoking to say (yeah right), here's my list of thankfulness for this year.<br />
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Healthy, smart, fun-loving kids<br />
Patient husband who really knows how to cook<br />
Friends, near and far<br />
Health<br />
Great Clients<br />
Hiking trails<br />
Running shoes<br />
Chocolate<br />
Wine<br />
Books<br />
and let's not forget, Freedom!<br />
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For all our troops on distant shores, Godspeed. Special prayers to the families of Marines who have recently lost their lives in Afghanistan. And all those members of the military who have passed in the last year.<br />
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Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families. Give thanks for what you have and give hugs to everyone you love.Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1615125101049495457.post-20915988363888227742010-11-01T11:41:00.000-07:002010-11-01T11:43:28.760-07:00Relationships in tough timesLately, my husband and I have been hearing about friends who are having troubles in their marriages. Nothing scientific here, but I'm guessing that the toll of the last few years of financial hardship is catching up to a lot of people. Marriages can be bumpy in good times, but when life gets tough -- that's the real test. This is the moment where you must pause and say to yourself: can we get through this if we fight hard enough? And then secondly, do we care enough to fight? This is harsh analysis, I know. Yet getting through tough times -- whether they are financial or job-related, illness-related, parenting-related, or the result of substance abuse or infidelity-- takes a triple dose of unflinching patience, will and faith.<br />
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Sometimes, I think that our generation doesn't have the gumption that our parents’ generation did. It's too easy to split ways, find a new mate, and have some breathing room. Truthfully, some of our parents should have never stayed together all those years, but they did because it was much less acceptable to divorce than it is today. The people who were meant to be together and stuck it through, steadily working through the issues, are now enjoying the fruit of their labors in retirement: each other.<br />
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What should be the expectation of a long-term relationship, anyhow? If the "wow" factor is gone does that mean it's time to throw in the towel? If you live in Hollywood, perhaps. But for the rest of us -- it's time to be realistic. Will your life really be better off without your spouse? Think about it. If you have kids, it's an especially momentous decision. A few years of less-than-romantic times doesn't mean you aren't still meant to be together. <strong><em>Fighting about jobs and money doesn't mean that you are incompatible -- these are extremely stressful issues whether you are in a relationship or not.</em></strong><br />
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My husband and I have been through some rocky roads the past few years. Yet we have chosen to remain together. Not just because we have two darling young girls who depend upon us, but because I truly believe that we will be better off working as a team than apart. I believe that once we get through some of the current battles, we will be stronger. My patience has been tested many times, yet I always come back to the simple reality that he is my best friend and I love him. I am sticking to that sentiment: that's where we started and even though sometimes the mirror is fuzzy today, it's fundamentally where we remain.<br />
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Many others are going through their days of reckoning right now. I wish them all sound decisions that come from the heart and the mind. I'll be writing more about relationships in “modern times” over the coming months. I hope you can share your thoughts!Polly Traylorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02396526597444525078noreply@blogger.com2