If you take natural disaster, divorce, death, and illness out of the equation, moving is hell. Moving with kids, especially those of the small type, is double hell. However, there are ways to get through it without losing your sanity, your marriage, and your overall sense of parental control. How do I know? I've done it now several times. Here is my rap sheet of credibility to offer tips on moving, with a timeline of the moves that I have gone through in my life:
1. 1977: Dallas to Denver with my brother and sister and a very large moving van.
2. 1986: Denver to Santa Barbara for college.
3. 1990, Summer: Santa Barbara to Denver after graduation.
4. 1990, Fall: Denver to San Diego.
5. 1991, Winter: San Diego back to Denver (broke)
6. 1991, July: Washington DC for graduate school.
7. 1992, September: Washington DC to Denver (broke)
8. 1996: Denver to Minneapolis (work relocation)
9. 1998: Minneapolis to San Francisco (fell in love, new job)
10. 2001: San Francisco to Boulder (husband gets new job)
11. 2003: Boulder to SF (husband loses job, finds new one)
12. 2004: SF to Seattle, baby in tow (this time, I get the new job)
13. 2005: Seattle to SF (2nd baby born, husband gets recruited back to the Bay)
14. 2009: SF to Golden, CO (leaving the rat race behind)
And here I am, 13 moves later, and I'm less than halfway through my projected lifespan. By far, the last three moves involving children were the hardest, yet also the most enlightening. Moving has taught us to be flexible and adaptive— and sometimes that means ice cream treats twice in one day to keep the kids calm.
Here are my 15 golden rules of moving with young kids:
1. Don't do it, unless you really really really need to do it.
2. Start planning and preparing for your move at least six weeks in advance… and for the love of God, make a list. And divide it with the spouse.
3. If you're moving to another neighborhood/city/state, make sure to inform the schools as early as possible of your kids’ departure so that you get back whatever deposit you put down (if private). Despite this, we still didn't get ours back, so expect disappointment. (Thank you so much, Serendipity Preschool in San Mateo, California, where I sent two of my children and parted with many thousands of dollars in tuition.)
4. Get bids from at least two recommended movers, preferably three. If your favorite mover can't get to the price that you want, ask them to throw in something for free like insurance, hotel vouchers, one month of free shopping at Whole Foods, a $500 gift card to Nordy’s…..
5. Ask for help. I'm sure that grandma and grandpa would love to come out and watch the kids while you pack boxes for the weekend.
6. If you are packing your own stuff, spread the grueling chore out over a couple of weekends. Trust me: you'll spend countless hours throwing out and sorting all sorts of crap you won't believe that you own.
7. Schedule two trash/recycling pickups: 2 weeks before your move and the second one the day after the movers leave.
8. If you can recycle or give away unwanted items, do it. You won't believe what people will want these days. If you don't have enough items for a garage sale, team up with a friend.
9. If you are moving out of state, reserve a hotel for three nights prior to the morning that you take off. Why? Night one will be the night before the movers load up your house, and nothing will be outside of a box. If you're like me, a clean comfortable hotel room is well worth the price after that hell. Night two, the movers have emptied your house, the kids are crying wondering where their toys are, you're feeling disconnected from your entire life, and that clean hotel room with a bottle of wine will be a welcome sight. Night three: you've just completed cleaning your empty house and yard, said goodbye to friends, and thus, need one last restful night’s sleep before the hideous drive across the desert/plains/mountains/swamp.
10. If you're driving to your new home for any considerable duration (i.e. more than two hours) do the following: go to Target, purchase several items from the dollar section, several arts and crafts kits, and many bags of unhealthy treats. Distribute them appropriately within your vehicles for easy access.
11. Remember, when you're on the road, there are no rules for eating: the more sugar, caffeine, salty food, the better. This goes for everyone in the family including the dog.
12. If you will be driving two cars with your spouse, please, please, separate the children. You'll thank me later.
13. If you don't have a portable DVD player by now for the kids, open up the rusty wallet and go buy one. It will be the best $150 (or less, perhaps) you’ve ever spent.
14. Don't skimp on hotels on the road. In places like Elko, Nevada, the best digs will still cost you half of any B-grade hotel in a big city. Get one with a swimming pool: the kiddies will have lots of energy to expend at the end of the 10-hour day in the car and they’ll fall blissfully into bed no later than midnight.
15. Get your buns up early when you have a long drive day ahead. The kids will still be groggy and you’ll have 1 hour of peace as a result.
That’s it. Those are my golden rules. I hope they work for you. And just remember: this too shall pass. Before you know it, you'll be in your new home/city, happily unpacked and sipping a glass of Pinot Noir on your back deck while the kids play peacefully and your husband cooks a lovely dinner of grilled salmon and fresh veggies from the garden. Or something like that.
2. 1986: Denver to Santa Barbara for college.
3. 1990, Summer: Santa Barbara to Denver after graduation.
4. 1990, Fall: Denver to San Diego.
5. 1991, Winter: San Diego back to Denver (broke)
6. 1991, July: Washington DC for graduate school.
7. 1992, September: Washington DC to Denver (broke)
8. 1996: Denver to Minneapolis (work relocation)
9. 1998: Minneapolis to San Francisco (fell in love, new job)
10. 2001: San Francisco to Boulder (husband gets new job)
11. 2003: Boulder to SF (husband loses job, finds new one)
12. 2004: SF to Seattle, baby in tow (this time, I get the new job)
13. 2005: Seattle to SF (2nd baby born, husband gets recruited back to the Bay)
14. 2009: SF to Golden, CO (leaving the rat race behind)
And here I am, 13 moves later, and I'm less than halfway through my projected lifespan. By far, the last three moves involving children were the hardest, yet also the most enlightening. Moving has taught us to be flexible and adaptive— and sometimes that means ice cream treats twice in one day to keep the kids calm.
Here are my 15 golden rules of moving with young kids:
1. Don't do it, unless you really really really need to do it.
2. Start planning and preparing for your move at least six weeks in advance… and for the love of God, make a list. And divide it with the spouse.
3. If you're moving to another neighborhood/city/state, make sure to inform the schools as early as possible of your kids’ departure so that you get back whatever deposit you put down (if private). Despite this, we still didn't get ours back, so expect disappointment. (Thank you so much, Serendipity Preschool in San Mateo, California, where I sent two of my children and parted with many thousands of dollars in tuition.)
4. Get bids from at least two recommended movers, preferably three. If your favorite mover can't get to the price that you want, ask them to throw in something for free like insurance, hotel vouchers, one month of free shopping at Whole Foods, a $500 gift card to Nordy’s…..
5. Ask for help. I'm sure that grandma and grandpa would love to come out and watch the kids while you pack boxes for the weekend.
6. If you are packing your own stuff, spread the grueling chore out over a couple of weekends. Trust me: you'll spend countless hours throwing out and sorting all sorts of crap you won't believe that you own.
7. Schedule two trash/recycling pickups: 2 weeks before your move and the second one the day after the movers leave.
8. If you can recycle or give away unwanted items, do it. You won't believe what people will want these days. If you don't have enough items for a garage sale, team up with a friend.
9. If you are moving out of state, reserve a hotel for three nights prior to the morning that you take off. Why? Night one will be the night before the movers load up your house, and nothing will be outside of a box. If you're like me, a clean comfortable hotel room is well worth the price after that hell. Night two, the movers have emptied your house, the kids are crying wondering where their toys are, you're feeling disconnected from your entire life, and that clean hotel room with a bottle of wine will be a welcome sight. Night three: you've just completed cleaning your empty house and yard, said goodbye to friends, and thus, need one last restful night’s sleep before the hideous drive across the desert/plains/mountains/swamp.
10. If you're driving to your new home for any considerable duration (i.e. more than two hours) do the following: go to Target, purchase several items from the dollar section, several arts and crafts kits, and many bags of unhealthy treats. Distribute them appropriately within your vehicles for easy access.
11. Remember, when you're on the road, there are no rules for eating: the more sugar, caffeine, salty food, the better. This goes for everyone in the family including the dog.
12. If you will be driving two cars with your spouse, please, please, separate the children. You'll thank me later.
13. If you don't have a portable DVD player by now for the kids, open up the rusty wallet and go buy one. It will be the best $150 (or less, perhaps) you’ve ever spent.
14. Don't skimp on hotels on the road. In places like Elko, Nevada, the best digs will still cost you half of any B-grade hotel in a big city. Get one with a swimming pool: the kiddies will have lots of energy to expend at the end of the 10-hour day in the car and they’ll fall blissfully into bed no later than midnight.
15. Get your buns up early when you have a long drive day ahead. The kids will still be groggy and you’ll have 1 hour of peace as a result.
That’s it. Those are my golden rules. I hope they work for you. And just remember: this too shall pass. Before you know it, you'll be in your new home/city, happily unpacked and sipping a glass of Pinot Noir on your back deck while the kids play peacefully and your husband cooks a lovely dinner of grilled salmon and fresh veggies from the garden. Or something like that.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment