Esteemed client: your lack of planning is not my disaster

Professionally, I refer to myself as a "communications consultant." But in reality, sometimes I think clients and prospects view me as: "sucker who will do anything for money or the promise of it."

Clients expect a lot, especially today, and generally speaking I'm happy to try and satisfy those needs in return for challenging work and a paycheck. However, when you are a freelance writer/marketer/editor/illustrator/designer, it seems like some folks think you're just dying to take their project at any price, under any conditions, because you are a creative and ultimately love what you do and will work at any hour of the day, weekends included, to fulfill your urge to produce meaningful content and change the world. You will even do some pro bono work if pushed. Sometimes all of those things are true —but I still don't like the underlying notion that while the client has lots of boundaries, I seem to have none (in their eyes, anyway).

A few months back, I made contact with a man who owns a startup software company. We had a few phone conversations and he called me into his office for a meeting about a blog that he wanted to produce with my help: one hour to learn about his company seemed like a fine investment of my time. After the meeting, several e-mails and other phone calls ensued with more requests for (apparently free) advice. Finally, I said to him: I think you're ready to get going on this project, so would you please send me over a contract so that we can officially begin work together? No contract materialized. Later, another e-mail appeared, stating that he had to put the blog project on hold to work on some other marketing activities. In my mind, the client was gone—at least for the near term. It happens, c'est la vie. But then, about a month later, I receive an e-mail from the guy, stating: "What happened, are you no longer interested in the blog project?" I replied: "I am indeed still interested, yet your last note to me asked me to hold off for now." I received no further replies or e-mails from him.

What the heck?

I have a real problem with flaky clients —and it seems like they are in ample abundance right now.

I don't put together a strategy plan for free, sorry. I am, however, willing to offer a few getting-started tips— which I did for this guy, to no avail.

Then there's the problem of getting things in writing. It shouldn't be hard -- but sometimes, it's like pulling teeth. A consultant should always have a work contract stating project scope, requirements, and agreed-upon rates and payment schedules. It not only protects the consultant but also the client. A couple of weeks ago, a new client sent over several legal docs for me to sign and fax back immediately. When I asked when I would see a contract for myself, she replied by e-mail: "I've never had this type of a request from freelancers. What exactly do you need? Is this e-mail good enough?"

I don't know, is it? Not for you guys, apparently.

She then went on to say how upright and honest her company is, how everyone always gets paid on time, and so on and so on. That's very nice, but it won't hold up in court. Anyway, I just don't get the big deal here: we're talking about a simple work contract, 200 words or less.

Another new client had a super tight deadline for me to accomplish this week— which I agreed to do, somewhat reluctantly, before our move to Colorado end of next week. The work was supposed to filter into my inbox a few days ago but hasn't appeared yet. Now, I have half the time to complete the project -- and I just don't see how it's going to get done. So I've prepared myself for the next conversation: you're going to need to hire some extra help pronto. I have provided a few reminders about my schedule— as I dutifully should. But I don't see this project ending well for them or for me. To be fair: who knows what's gone wrong here, but I'm expecting that I'll be asked to pick up the slack and if I say no, guilt pangs will certainly attack me in the middle of the night.

And then there's the problem of getting paid on time— don't get me started. But I will, soon, very soon… I have loads and loads of tips from my own experiences and others about how to handle late invoices. Fortunately, this hasn't happened a lot in my career, but enough to make me wonder what I can do to prevent it altogether. Late fees are often in my contracts, but that doesn't usually push a negligent or cash-strapped client to pay me any sooner.

Esteemed client, may I ask: are you late on your rent and utility bills?
Doubtfully. So why can't you just pay me on time, too?

Don't forget: I worked super hard for you, am highly ethical, and have bills to pay as well. This isn't clothing and vacation money—we do actually need to eat around here and buy toilet paper.

At this point you are possibly thinking: wow, is she ever ungrateful. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. I am from-the-bottom-of-my-heart thankful for every piece of work that I get these days, and for good clients, I will do everything humanly possible to meet their needs -- as long as it doesn't adversely affect my kids.

There is, however, one thing I can say say with certitude: some clients are worth losing, for your own sanity. Know when to cut the cord, respectfully of course, and work even harder for the clients who treat you well. Because when it's all said and done, the customer's always right (even when they're not).

Something’s Gotta Give

Just for the record, there's no such thing as "work-life balance." But you already knew that. At the moment, I'm trying to improve my work-sleep balance, yet until we get through with this cross-country move, forget about it. (We are moving from the Bay Area to the Denver area in August, to be near extended family and make a change that we think will be better for our family for the long-term.)

Beyond working (or trying to), researching schools, packing up, seeing friends, and all the millions of details corresponding to moving your family to another city, my state of frazzledom is at an all-time high. Most working parents would agree -- and you don't even have to be moving to experience these feelings of chaos.

My good friend and work-at-home mom Joanna suggested I cover the topic of "what gives" which I have to say is always top of mind for me. We can't "do it all" even though we want to—so it's always a smart idea every several months to take stock of everything you have going on and to weed out a few things. And it's also an even better idea to prioritize how you're spending your time.

For me, here's what's most essential today in my life:

1. Three to fours hours of rejuvenating sleep per night during the week.
2. Spending time with my kids and occasionally even having a conversation with my husband.
3. Exercising rigorously at least 15 minutes per week to compensate for my chocolate habit.
4. Working at least enough to pay for daycare, girls nights, and miscellaneous items like groceries.
5. Reading at least 5 minutes, of any text whatsoever, before passing out in bed.

After that, comes the following:

1. Seeing friends.
2. Keeping the house relatively clean and with a walking path cleared at all times.

Here are the things that I no longer do, and possibly never did:

1. Shower every morning (ah, one of the lovely benefits of working from home).
2. Style my hair and wear cute, coordinated outfits (unless of course I'm actually getting out of the house to do something fun).
3. Make home-cooked meals every night.
4. Chat on the phone with friends and family (other than my mom).
5. Print photos and put them into albums.
6. Volunteer.


It's not that I wouldn’t like doing these things, but there's just no time at the moment.
And that's my message here: what must you keep and what must you get rid of to maintain your sanity?

Decide, before you implode. I'm always curious to know what other people have opted not to do any longer, or still do but in a modified fashion. For instance, I love to cook but most weeknights I am pulling something out of the freezer such as chicken tenders, fish sticks, veggie burgers, or throwing together a quick spaghetti and salad dinner, veggie stir-fry, or kitchen sink burrito. My husband and I don't use recipes too much anyway, but we certainly don't cook anything that takes longer than 10 minutes to prepare during the week. We still eat healthy, and buy fresh produce, but I can't beat myself up over the fact that my work day ends exactly when my kids are starving. There's just no patience for slow cooking around here.

I'm also fascinated by those people who are proficient when it comes to being highly efficient: making their kids’ lunches the night before, laying out their children's clothes the night before to avoid early-morning arguments about why a four-year-old cannot wear her holiday party dress to preschool, doing menu planning for the week and shopping on Sunday, having organic groceries delivered to their door, and a number of other strategies which of course I rarely deploy myself.

One thing I am excellent about, I must admit, is organizing my life on my iPhone. If I don't have all those tasks and calendar items right there at my fingertips, they will be forgotten, neglected, and my life will be in even a more hopeless state of disarray than it is now. Thank you, Apple, and thank you to my obsessive-compulsive, detail-oriented mother for those productivity genes.

What are your secrets? Please, write me and do tell.

I just have one final thing to add here, which is of the highest importance: if your spouse does not equally help with household and kid-related tasks, figure out a way to divvy them up pronto. In our house, I pretty much handle the playdates and social calendar, school details/tasks, homework supervision, doctor appointments, and a lot of the errands and shopping. My husband does a lot of the cooking, folds the laundry, helps clean and pick up, and does the hideous job of taxes and financial management. He also is a genius at playing tickle monster with the girls when I need a break. If your spouse cannot handle such responsibilities, I advise you to find a new one at your earliest convenience. And I'm dreadfully sorry, but mine is not available.