The Home Office: Haven or Hell?

You happily left the serenity of your air conditioned office to work from home, so you could have more quality time with the kids. Now instead of the boss, the little monsters are yanking your chain. Did you make a big, sticky mistake?

Today, my friend Howard shared with me a San Jose Mercury News story about the challenges of stay-at-home working parents. I don't know why he thinks I would care -- after all, it's not like I work at home and have two loud youngsters or anything. Oh, wait. It was the dream I had two nights ago about working in a quiet office wearing grown-up clothes that was untrue.

On most days, I wouldn't give up my situation for anything. Instead of spending two hours a day dressing, primping and driving to and from an office, I maximize time with my kids. I get to go to their swim meets and baseball practices and help them with homework after school. I save money on gas and nice outfits. I am my own boss and for the most part, set my own schedule. I almost never have to attend a useless meeting instead of working out.

Even so, summertime has reminded me how distracting and unproductive working at home with kids can be at times -- even, or perhaps because of, hiring babysitters. Here's an interesting quote from the Mercury News article: “A recent study by TheBump.com and Forbes Woman showed that, while 92 percent of working moms are stressed out, 89 percent of stay-at-home moms feel the same way. Parents say much of the stress comes from trying to give both work and kids enough time, especially when children are used to getting attention when mom is around.”

Kids find you like a heat-seeking missile when you least expect nor want them. They are genetically wired to interrupt you during an important business call or deadline with a screaming crisis concerning misplaced items or a dessert emergency. The worst arguments between siblings always seem to happen when you're swamped. Babysitters are by and large inept at keeping children occupied with acceptable activities and out of parents’ offices, unless they are over the age of 25, and with significant life experience. Good luck there! Grandmothers are often not much better. The smart, creative, nurturing, patient and highly responsible babysitters are usually former teachers and you can't afford their (deserved, granted) astronomical hourly rates. To be blunt: sometimes it's a real pain in the ass to work from home.

Sadly, I have no advice to share about this, after five years of doing it. But if you're a parent and thinking about giving up the office job for the blessed home-office gig, think twice. Do you have the balls to maintain discipline, clarity of purpose, and when needed, install and use the lock on your office door? Can you discover a coping method for the madness of working when the kids are home, other than twisting opening a bottle of Jack?

If so, enjoy the ride. It's fun, rewarding, and challenging to work from home -- but it's rarely smooth.

The End of Summer: At last, I can work in peace again.

It's been a long summer. Yet, it went by so quickly and the kids are back in school and busy with homework and activities like it never even happened. Thank God.

The older I get, the more I realize that summer is like Christmas. So much anticipation, a blur of excitement and chaos, and then a large sigh of silent gratitude when it's over. September has become my new favorite month.

I didn't always used to feel that way. For my entire life, summer has been my favorite season. For one, my birthday is in June. Then there’s swimming, hiking, trail running, lounging by the pool with a book, biking, dining al fresco, margaritas on the patio, barbecues with friends, warm evenings and long days, ice cream, fireworks, festivals and outdoor concerts.

Funny though, how my opinion has changed now that my children have become of school age. Now, summer is a constant juggling act of trying to maintain the steady flow of deadlines (clients don’t take summer off, nor do the bills, after all) while managing the babysitter, the changing daily schedules, changing daily activities, camps and all of their unique requirements, and young children who must stay up until all the other neighborhood kids finally go inside at 9:30 PM. Or later.

Yes, summer’s over, but I’m getting tired just thinking about it again. The last few weeks of summer vacation are particularly straining. They remind me of the final days before my wedding: Oh, we forgot to do that! Shoot, we forgot to invite them! And then of course, the kids complain about their rotten choices for the day (no amusement park? no movie? no three-ring circus?) or fight over silly bands and who got the largest scoop of ice cream. They fret that school is about to start again -- yet secretly, they're about as excited as the parents. Secretly, the kids wonder what happened to their parents, who now look like walking zombies from staying up late every night due to their incredible lack of focus during the day.

We are three weeks into the school year now and for the parent who works at home, it's heavenly. For a solid seven hours, the house is blessedly quiet. There are no children storming into my office demanding better snacks or worse, better babysitters. Productivity is at an all-time high. The kids are in bed at 8:30, no questions asked.

There is just one small problem: the weather is still quite summerlike, and my bike and running shoes are close at hand.

Until next summer arrives, may peace, quiet and productivity reign!