Money troubles are
one of the top causes of divorce. You have to work as a team with your
spouse or partner to manage the budget and plan for the future. This may cause bitter arguments, which results in couples not talking about anything – which can have
disastrous consequences. But money doesn't have to ruin a relationship with your spouse or partner...by working as a team, being honest and being flexible, I'd venture to say it can even bring you closer. But it takes commitment and a long-term view. Finances have been a continual pressure point in our house and some years were downright miserable. It's taken years for my husband and I to come up with a workable plan, and it's always a work in progress. Yet our goals are the same: save, invest, retire before we are too old to travel and sock away money every month for simple pleasures like dinners out and movies with the kids.
Here are some Do’s and Don’ts to maintain a healthy
and profitable financial relationship with your spouse:
DO
Have joint family
bank accounts that both spouses can access and view at any time. This builds
trust and makes it easier to manage your money.
DON’T
Hide purchases
through cash spending or your own secret credit card: hello, that's lying. If you must hide a purchase, you probably shouldn't be making it at all.
DO
Track everything
through your online account and minimize cash spending. This helps you know exactly
where the money is going, which is key to effective budget management and
planning.
DON’T
Nitpick about small
things like Starbucks latte’s and beers with the guys. Give each other a little
wiggle room.
DO
Manage your money as if it were a business..because it is! Use some type of
accounting software such as Quicken or a personal finance site such as Mint.com to track
budgets, expenses, and assets. Set regular, weekly
meetings with your spouse/partner to discuss your family's income, budget and spending patterns
historically and looking forward. The more you communicate, the less chance for
overspending and arguing.
DON’T
Give up… If your
grocery budget is consistently high like many families today, keep getting creative.
There's always room for a new strategy – such as eating more vegetarian foods
or creating basic dinners that cost less but are still healthy or shopping
less at the organic grocer. Continually review large categories such as insurance and utilities: can you get a better deal by shopping around or calling your providers for a new quote? Probably.
DO
Set money aside for what's important but not "essential" to live: health club memberships, massage, outings with friends or enrichment classes. Prioritize these activities and then determine how your budget will accommodate. You may need to spend less on something else, like clothing. If there is nothing set aside for Fun, you'll both get discouraged and possibly engage in impulse spending to make yourself feel better.
DON'T
Take your kids to Target or Walmart if there's nothing in it for them...because believe me, they'll find something essential you must purchase for them, now. If they must tag along, set the ground rules before getting out of the car and stick to them once inside the store.
DO
Review all assets, investments and savings accounts at least once yearly to evaluate what's working and what's not. Do the same for your expenses. It's enlightening (and sometimes shocking) to understand what were the top categories for spending over 12 months, and this also helps set goals for the next year.
DON'T
Forget to pat yourself on the back for saving more or reducing costs in key areas. It's tough for families to save these days, given the high cost of living, job and career volatility, higher insurance and medical costs, requisite personal technology upgrades, tuition increases, and the pressures of parenting that seem to require more activities, tutoring and enrichment than ever before to prepare your kids for the real world. This is not your parent's world, so make sure not to set the bar unrealistically high for saving and budgeting.
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